I just got offered dope, lit & good quality, for the first time in over 26 years after giving it up. Yeah.<\/p>\n
I was alone, on the cement footbridge that goes over Morrisey Blvd between Stop & Shop, Subway & the hotel. \u00c2\u00a0I was eating (bingeing, really) on cheap ice cream sandwiches, a behavior I got from (wait for it) the munchies after getting high. \u00c2\u00a0The thought had just crossed my mind that I was in a good place to get high.<\/p>\n
A guy who had crossed my path twice on the bridge \u00c2\u00a0offered me a lit joint. The quality could not be denied. \u00c2\u00a0There was plenty. \u00c2\u00a0The kid was naive. \u00c2\u00a0I told him my story, that I had given it up. \u00c2\u00a0He didn’t really think it was a big deal, of course. \u00c2\u00a0I told him I was wake-and-bake for over 13 years, that it still bothered me, that the emotion I was backlogging had caught up with one day and it was too much, that I had wanted to take my own life— I’m afraid I was harshing this young man’s buzz.<\/p>\n
Well, he told me that “he was going through a lot.” \u00c2\u00a0Yeah, well that’s life. \u00c2\u00a0I’m not being unsympathetic (though sympathy itself\u00c2\u00a0would be a disservice.) \u00c2\u00a0It’s just that the human mind is more than capable of coming up with the “drama du jour” and having it be perfectly real, all in justification for doing our own misdeeds (or worse, avoiding doing the things we need to do.) \u00c2\u00a0It’s the abberated, human way.<\/p>\n
“If you can keep your head when all about you
\nAre losing theirs and blaming it on you;
\nIf you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
\nBut make allowance for their doubting too:
\nIf you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
\nOr, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
\nOr being hated don’t give way to hating,
\nAnd yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;<\/p>\n
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
\nIf you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
\nIf you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
\nAnd treat those two impostors just the same:.
\nIf you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
\nTwisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
\nOr watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
\nAnd stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;<\/p>\n
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
\nAnd risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
\nAnd lose, and start again at your beginnings,
\nAnd never breathe a word about your loss:
\nIf you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
\nTo serve your turn long after they are gone,
\nAnd so hold on when there is nothing in you
\nExcept the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”<\/p>\n
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
\nOr walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
\nIf neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
\nIf all men count with you, but none too much:
\nIf you can fill the unforgiving minute
\nWith sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
\nYours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
\nAnd—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!<\/p>\n
Rudyard Kipling<\/p>\n
I wonder if Kipling was a good father?<\/p>\n
BTW, I can’t say I didn’t want to accept his offer or that, after 26 years, the smell of it in my face didn’t affect me. I was right to give it up.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I just got offered dope, lit & good quality, for the first time in over 26 years after giving it up. Yeah. I was alone, on the cement footbridge that goes over Morrisey Blvd between Stop & Shop, Subway & … Continue reading