A Little Taste of Hell

Eric > Dorchester

Karl Nelson > Hello Eric_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Karl Nelson. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Karl Nelson > Welcome to Comcast! How are you doing today?

Eric_ > OK-

Eric_ > My GF wanted to watch the Kennedys on the Reelzchannel.

Karl Nelson > Eric, I see you have Dorchester issues, correct?

Eric_ > I can’t even tell on the site what I have.

Eric_ > Can you direct me to find my package’s channels?

Karl Nelson > Sure!

Karl Nelson > Let me check on that.

Karl Nelson > It is a pleasure to have you on chat! First of all, I apologize for whatever inconvenience the issue has caused you but I’ll be more than happy to resolve it for you. I hope you haven’t waited so long to be assisted.

Karl Nelson > For the integrity and security of the account, can you please verify the last 4 digits of the Social Security Number listed on the account?

Eric_ > I have no issues with the town in which I live. . .

Eric_ > xxxx

Karl Nelson > Thank you.

Karl Nelson > Let me pull up your account.

Eric_ > . Here, a long time passed: about 10 minutes!

Eric_ > .

Karl Nelson > You are looking for Reelzchannelm am I correct?

Eric_ > .Yes

Karl Nelson > Thank you.

Karl Nelson > Let me check on that.

Eric_ > LOOK,

Eric_ > I’ll say it again:

Eric_ > I want to find my channel list for MY package.

Eric_ > That will settle the other thing.

Karl Nelson > I understand, Eric. I’m still checking for it.

Karl Nelson > I do not see Reelzchannel on your area. Let me look in another syetem

Eric_ > HEY DUDE:

Eric_ > STOP LOOKING FOR THE REELZCHANNEL:

Eric_ > Please: tell me how to find My Channel Listing. THat’s all.

Karl Nelson > http://www.fancast.com/tv-episode-listings

Karl Nelson > This is the site

Karl Nelson > Type your zipcode

Eric_ > You can’t cut & paste from this thing.

Karl Nelson > Please wait

Karl Nelson > http://www.fancast.com/tv-listings

Karl Nelson > Let me check if I can copy paste

Karl Nelson > I’m sorry I cant copy paste large amount of character. Can you check on the site I provided.

Eric_ > NEVERMIND CUT & PASTE> I typed it.

Karl Nelson > What other things you need clarification?

Eric_ > So, I am logged into the website that you said I could find a listing of the tv channels to which I am subscribed. I can find no such thing.

Karl Nelson > Can you please try www.fancast.com first.

Eric_ > Rather, I find lists of Comcast offerings in my market, some of which I am subscribed to, but others to which I am not.

Karl Nelson > Then click on “TV listing” tab

Eric_ > Done

Eric_ > What I waid above applies still.

Karl Nelson > When you click the TV listing tab, you will be routed to your zipcode, correct?

Eric_ > YES! MY MARKET>

Eric_ > THIS THING ASSUMES I AM SUBSCRIBED TO EVERYTHIG!!!!!

Eric_ > Goddamn it, Read my request.

Eric_ > WHAAT AM IIIIIIIII SUBSCRIBED TO!

Karl Nelson > You can try this:

Karl Nelson >  https://www.comcast.com/Localization/Localize.cspx?Referer=%2fCustomers%2fClu%2fChannelLineup.ashx%3farea%3d0

Eric_ > PARDON ME WHILE I COPY THAT BY HAND

Karl Nelson > You can just click the link.

Eric_ > NO YOU CAN

Eric_ > CAN’t (Turns out, you could — if you could see it. See screenshot. There’s a link above & below my highlighted one; nearly invisible. I finally found it.)

Karl Nelson > Let me copy paste it

Eric_ > Using chrome, the leading edge browser.

Karl Nelson > # Channel Name Interests Features
2 WGBH-2 (PBS) Children & Family
3 HSN Lifestyle 3 BAT## Local
4 WBZ-4 (CBS) Local
5 WCVB-5 (ABC) Local
6 New England Cable News News & Info HD ON
7 WHDH-7 (NBC) Local
8 TV Guide Network News & Info
9 HSN## Lifestyle 9 BNN TV Local
10 WLVI-56 (CW)~ Local
11 NHPTV (PBS)~ Local
12 NASA/RAI Multicultural
14 WSBK-38 (IND) Local
18 WZMY-50 (My TV)~ Local
19 WBPX-68 (ION) Local
22 The Municipal Channel Local
23 Community Access/Health Channel-Senior Reading## Local
24 The Educational Channel/BAT## Local
25 WFXT-25 (FOX) News & Info
26 Cuencavision Multicultural
27 WUNI-27 (UNI) Multicultural
44 WGBX-44 (PBS) Children & Family
46 WWDP-DT~ Lifestyle
47 QVC Lifestyle
50 WUTF-66 (Telefutura) Multicultural
51 Boston City Council Local
52 WMFP-62 (IND) Local
53 WNEU-60 (Telemundo) Multicultural
209 WGBH World ~ Lifestyle
217 GBH Kids ~ Children & Family
229 Trinity Broadcast Network ~ Lifestyle 237

Karl Nelson > WGBH Create~ Lifestyle
288 Universal Sports (via WZM-DT) ~ High-Definition TV
295 WYDN-48 (Daystar)~ News & Info
296 WENH-11 Explore~ Children & Family
297 This TV~ News & Info
298 WFXZ Azteca America~ Multicultural

Karl Nelson > This is the channel line up for Basic Cable

Eric_ > Nevermind, I got it. Link appears in the websites box in so light a grey that I can’t see it.

Eric_ > You guys are ridiculous.

Karl Nelson > Make sure to select the package type you have.

Karl Nelson > Why?

Eric_ > I’ve been 45 miniutes trying to find what I have on your website. Now I have a list in a box that I can’t copy

Karl Nelson > You can copy paste this channel line up:

Eric_ > I did this link you directed me to before chatting with you.

Karl Nelson > # Channel Name Interests Features
2 WGBH-2 (PBS) Children & Family
3 HSN Lifestyle 3 BAT## Local
4 WBZ-4 (CBS) Local
5 WCVB-5 (ABC) Local
6 New England Cable News News & Info HD ON
7 WHDH-7 (NBC) Local
8 TV Guide Network News & Info
9 HSN## Lifestyle
9 BNN TV Local
10 WLVI-56 (CW)~ Local
11 NHPTV (PBS)~ Local
12 NASA/RAI Multicultural
14 WSBK-38 (IND) Local
18 WZMY-50 (My TV)~ Local
19 WBPX-68 (ION) Local
22 The Municipal Channel Local
23 Community Access/Health Channel-Senior Reading## Local
24 The Educational Channel/BAT## Local
25 WFXT-25 (FOX) News & Info
26 Cuencavision Multicultural
27 WUNI-27 (UNI) Multicultural
44 WGBX-44 (PBS) Children & Family
46 WWDP-DT~ Lifestyle
47 QVC Lifestyle
50 WUTF-66 (Telefutura) Multicultural
51 Boston City Council Local
52 WMFP-62 (IND) Local
53 WNEU-60 (Telemundo) Multicultural
209 WGBH World ~ Lifestyle
217 GBH Kids ~ Children & Family
229 Trinity Broadcast Network ~ Lifestyle 237

Karl Nelson > WGBH Create~ Lifestyle
288 Universal Sports (via WZM-DT) ~ High-Definition TV
295 WYDN-48 (Daystar)~ News & Info
296 WENH-11 Explore~ Children & Family
297 This TV~ News & Info
298 WFXZ Azteca America~ Multicultural

Eric_ > YOu’re an Idiot. I have told you 4 times now that I CAN”T cut & paste from this chat box. Sorry, but you do not listen even when it’s in writing.

Eric_ > Send me a review form for your performance today. I’m done.

Karl Nelson > Thank you.

Karl Nelson > You have basic cable, just view the line up you have.

Karl Nelson > Are you still looking for Reelzchannel? Just scroll up and look for the channels available for your TV.

Eric_ > OMG I AM /TRYING/ to view the lineup I have.

Eric_ > Review form, please

Karl Nelson > I just provided you the line up. Scroll up and you can find the line up I provided, Eric.

Karl Nelson > I’m very sorry, Eric, we cannot share internal information such as my performance as much as I want to.

Eric_ > OK- don’t close this window, as I have to take screenshots of it, then type it out later.

Eric_ > How convenient for you.

Karl Nelson > Sure!

Eric_ > TELL YOU WHAT,

Eric_ > just take that list and email it to me. You can do that, can’t you?

Eric_ > xxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com

Karl Nelson > You can also print this transcript for your convenience. (I did not trust this functionality by now, but to his credit, it was true.)

Eric_ > I will want to be forgetting this conversation, thank you.

Karl Nelson > You are most welcome.

Eric_ > ??????

Karl Nelson > As much as I want to send email, my system here do not support it. what I can do is send you a hardcopy of the channel line up you have. Isnt that great?

Karl Nelson > For easier resolution, you can use this site:

Karl Nelson > https://www.comcast.com/Customers/Clu/ChannelLineup.ashx

Eric_ > Fan-freakin’-tabulous.

Karl Nelson > I’m sorry to hear about the issue you are having with our service. I’m not going to waste any time here, let’s get right to fixing it.

Eric_ > I am going to go wait by the mailbox.

Karl Nelson > I must say that is a clever and funny comment.

Karl Nelson > If it is not convenient for you to wait, you can type the link I provided you, and type it to your web browser.

Karl Nelson > You are a very important customer and it appears you have left the chat. To ensure we provide the best support possible, I will close this window now and ask that you initiate a new chat so that we can provide you with support of your Comcast Services. Thank you. Please acknowledge that you are still at your computer. Our system will automatically close this chat due to inactivity if I do not receive a response from you after 3 minutes.

Karl Nelson > I want to ensure your issue is addressed. Can you please acknowledge that you still require support? If I do not receive a response from you, the system might automatically disconnect this session due to inactivity.

Karl Nelson > Due to inactively, I must now end the chat session. If you need additional assistance you can find product support information on our Web site at http://www.comcast.com/Support/.

Karl Nelson > Analyst has closed chat and left the room